The worst thing about being a mom

I apologize for the silence and lack of picture updates. It has been a tough month in the Anderson household. On October 20 Staley, Liliana, and I were in Alpine having dinner to celebrate my completion of my MA exam. During dinner Liliana started violently vomiting. Luckily we were eating at our hotel, so I was able to take her upstairs. It was the beginning of her being sick for several hours before we finally got her to bed. The first thing we thought of was an allergic reaction. The day before Lili had been started on real milk, a major change in her diet. So we decided maybe she just wasn't ready.

She seemed fine the next day. But Tuesday morning I got a call from my mom telling me she was sick again. I called her pediatrician to ask if this was perhaps a reaction to the extensive shots she had received the prior week at her wellness check up. The nurse told me no, that it was most likely a virus. We were to put her on bland foods and keep her hydrated.

For the next week and a half Liliana continued to be sick. The pattern seemed to be every other day. The Friday before the two week mark, I called the doctor again and they set up an appointment for that day. Dr. Reese really couldn't find anything, although Lili had lost weight. She instructed me to put her on soy milk in case of a dairy allergy. I left with the instructions that if Liliana wasn't better by Monday, to go to the hospital for tests.

The weekend went pretty well and I thought we were in the clear. Then I got another phone call from Mom. So we went in for testing. The next 48 hours were really taxing. Staley was calling me every hour for news. Finally the nurse called to tell me the tests were clear. We were so thankful! But I also had to ask, what now? We were told to wait a week and if she wasn't better to bring her in to be weighed.

The past week was frustrating to say the least. Watching my daughter throw up everything we feed her, her stomach cave in, hearing her wake up screaming and clutching at her tummy--it just killed me. People would ask me about her at work and I would start crying because I was so frustrated. The frustration and the inability to do anything about it is the worst thing about being a mom. I felt so helpless. The nurses I work with offered some suggestions, but they didn't work. And now Liliana was to the point that we couldn't get her to eat much of anything.

Wednesday morning marked the one week mark and I called the doctor. They set up an appointment for yesterday morning. I prayed that God would give me patience and strength as I held my little girl and that Dr. Reese would give me some glimmer of hope that we could stop this. I had also made the decision that if Dr. Reese told me to wait and see for another week, I was going to go for a second opinion.

We went to the doctor yesterday morning and Liliana had lost another pound. I wanted to cry. My thirteen month old daughter weighs barely 19 pounds. Dr. Reese was very concerned. She and I went through everything we could think of--anything new added to the house that could be causing environmental allergies, food allergies...I told her everything I could think of, even reminding her of our China trip. I have to say kudos to the TV show House because that's what made me be so thorough in my information. And one by one we shot the ideas down. Dr. Reese says she still feels strongly that it is a virus and Liliana just has a really weak immune system. We are supposed to feed her anything she will eat and give her at least 16 ounces of milk and one serving of yogurt each day. She thinks the extra Bactria will really help. Next Wednesday we go back and if she's still losing weight we are going to a specialist for more intrusive testing.

So that's where we stand. If you think about it, please say a prayer for our little girl that she stops throwing up and starts putting on weight. I will try to post an update next week after we go to the doctor. Thanks.

Here are some recent pictures. I will add more to our album in a few days.

Here she is on her 13 months birthday. It was incredibly hard to get her to stand still for me to take the pictures. She was running all over her nursery like a crazy baby. You'll also notice she is carrying a coathanger. She loves them and some how keep mysteriously finding them, so matter how often I pick them up.

Walking out from lunch with her best buddy, Grandpa Larry. She doesn't like to be carried, she likes to walk like a big girl, holding Grandpa's hand.